Today was a special day for me and the little baby in my belly. We have "known" each other for 11 weeks (really 9), but I've yet to feel a bond. When I was pregnant the first time it was so new and exciting. It's exciting the second time around, but it's not new and glamorous. I'm also much busier than I was when I was pregnant with Lucas and have been lucky to have a very easy first trimester. The combo of being busy and not really being able to tell that I'm pregnant makes it very easy to forget sometimes. Another thing that has been holding back the joy of this pregnancy is the feeling of guilt of how this change will affect Lucas. He's still nursing and very attached, so I imagine that this will rock his little world. I know he'll adjust, but for the first several weeks I felt a feeling of betrayal. That feeling is fading, so that's good.
Jeff and I decided a while ago that we'd not find out the gender of this baby. We figured it would make it more exciting. Last night, however, we decided that we would find out. I told him that I want to know if it's a boy or a girl so that we can pick a name and I can start imagining life with this new little person. Plus I think it will be easier to talk about the new little brother or sister with Lucas. Today I had to drive into work, so I had about 30 min to myself in the car. My mind was drifting and thinking of little girl names when a song came on the radio about a baby girl (carrie underwood's new song). Next thing I knew I was in tears imagining Jeff holding a little baby wrapped in a pink blanket.
So I felt like I bonded with the baby for the first time today. I've been thinking about him or her all day and wondering what they will be like. We have an u/s on April 10th, so we may be able to find out the gender then.
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This is so sweet Shan. I know what you mean about not having time to concentrate on this pregnancy, but it makes it go by faster. Let me know any girl names you came up with!
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