Easter Eggs

Today was just a day to be lazy at Mom's house.  And hang out with everyone for another day.  Tomorrow we plan on driving back to Raleigh. 

Jenn and I worked in some Easter Eggs...

Oh, and Mrs. Tingle gave us this picture of the kids with the Easter Bunny a few days ago.  They look like they loved it!

Happy Birthday Lucas! 6yrs old!!!

Talk about emotional roller coaster!  In the midst of all that is going on with Mom, little Lucas turns 6 today.  He only turns 6 once, so we did our best to make it great.  Really, it was pretty cool.  What 6yr old gets to fly on an airplane with their Daddy and met at the airport by their Mommy, sister, aunt and cousins?!  I hadn't seen this turkey in 11 days... was so excited to see him and Jeff!

Here is Lucas right after we saw them.  Ellen was beside herself with excitement!

Back at the house, we had a small family party for him.  I just didn't want this day to pass without singing happy birthday to him.  Lucas goes with the flow and seemed happy with how the day went.  He even got to have a sleepover with Ty at Ty's other grandma's house!  This doesn't sound like much, but they live on a lot of land, have a trampoline, lots of toys, and get to eat ice cream before bed! 

The Next Phase of Life...

Mom passed away this morning at 4:30am.  Jenn and I were not surprised.  We spent a few hours with her together yesterday and at one point made eye contact across the bed, noting the feeling that we both had.  Mom seemed so exhausted.  Literally and everything else.  I told this to Mama as we crossed paths during the shift change.  When she came home at midnight she said that she didn't feel that way.  Mom had had a very alert conversation with her that lasted about 45 minutes.  She asked Mama what happened to her and said that "it happened so fast."  She said she knew that everyone had been to visit her.  She aslo mentioned two bills that were on her desk that she hadn't paid. She was always very organized and on top of things! 

At 4am the phone rang.  Of course I knew immediately.  I answered it to hear my Uncle Kicky say, "y'all need to get down here."  Everyone had heard the phone ring and were getting dressed when I confirmed that it was Kicky.  Kicky had been taking the 12am - 7am shift.  Luckily Ellen had spent the night with Mary's other grandma, so we could move quickly.

We got to the hospital in record time, but were five minutes too late.  Kicky said that it was very peaceful.  He said her b/p was dropping and the nurses knew what was happening.  Her heart stopped beating, which made Kicky grab her hand, and she lived for five more minutes while he sat with her. 

We are all heartbroken and so sad, but so thankful for the past two days!  Getting the chance to talk to spend the last 10 days with her and have the last 2 be so magical was more than I could ever hoped for. 

Jenn and I wrote this today.  We wanted to make sure it was more than just the facts.

Bobbie Joyce Watkins was born to Benjamin Roy Beckham and Lottie Beckham on December 9, 1936, in Tupelo, Miss. She was the youngest of three children. In 1951 she married Lee Stewart Watkins and in 1952 gave birth to their first child, Gayle Lee. By the time she was 22 four more children had followed - Charles Eugene "Chuck," Richard Stewart "Rick," James Earl, and Benjamin Clarence "Benji." As she raised her children, she and Lee co-owned Duke Tire Co. in Forest Park. The business is still in operation today. In 1977, her first granddaughter, Shanna Johnson, arrived. In 1980, her second, Jennifer Johnson, and in 1983, her only grandson, Bryan Johnson.

"Mom," as everyone came to know her, had a huge heart. She always had a smile on her face, a positive attitude, and a warm hug to give. Mom loved mocha frappuccinos, the Atlanta Braves, Mississippi, gambling all night, on-line video poker, egg sandwiches, staying up late and sleeping in. Spending time with her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren was what put the biggest smile on her face in the last years of her life.

Mom took her last breath on Tuesday, April 3, 2012.

She is survived by her daughter, Gayle Johnson (Jeff); sons, Ricky and James; grandchildren, Shanna Schroeder (Jeff ), Jennifer Tingle (Neil), and Bryan Johnson; great grandchildren, Wesley, Lucas, Tyrus, Mary and Ellen. She is preceded in death by her parents, spouse, brother and sister, and sons, Chuck and Benji, daughter in-law, Gayle Watkins, and her beloved dog, Mike.

A service will be held in the chapel at Thomas L. Scroggs Funeral Directors, Thursday, April 5, 2012 at 11 a.m. Interment to follow at Fairview Memorial Gardens in Ellenwood. Visitation will be held on Wednesday evening from 5-8 p.m. Thomas L. Scroggs Funeral Directors, Morrow, Ga., 770-961-2828 in charge of arrangements. www.thomasscroggsfuneraldirectors.com.

Decision Time

I'm writing this at the end of a long and emotional day.  We decided on Friday to have a family meeting with Dr. Taylor today.  He said it's routine for him to meet with the family at the end of his 7 day shift, which is Tuesday.  It has been a very emotional roller coaster over the past week.  One day we think Mom is responding to us, and the the next we don't.  One day the kidney doctor is saying she looks good, and then the lung doctor thinks differently.  We all knew that we were working towards that 10 day deadline, and really haven't seen much improvement.  With much discussion, we decided that today is the day we should remove the intubation.  To prep for this the nearly stopped her pain meds so that she would have the best chance to breathe on her own. 

The doctor had us all meet in a conf room while he went to Mom's room to talk to her.  He later told us that he wanted to meet with her on his own to ask her if SHE wanted to remove the tube.  She blinked once for "yes."

The doctor couldn't have done a better job of explaining the process to us and supporting us emotionally.  He told us that she was definitely going to die.  It could take an hour or could take months.  He told us that we should smile and be there to support her as she "returns to the Earth."  Mom would have liked that.  At one point he said, "who knows, she may even talk to us."  He said it with a tone of there was no way that would happen.

We were all around Mom when they took out the tube.  She coughed on her own, which was good, and within the hour was talking to us.  It was amazing!  She looked a me, mama and Jenn and said, "Heyyyyyy Baby."  Just like the Mom we knew.  What was so amazing is that we weren't sure that she was in there.  We didn't know what effect the high b/p and everything else had had on her brain.  She even said, "come in" when someone knocked on the door. 

We all stayed with her for hours and then decided we should start our shifts again.  I took the 9pm-midnight shift.  By the time I got there Mom has enough strength in her arms to adjust her oxygen mask if it fell down.  But she hated that mask and at one point told me to get the hell away from her when I tried to adjust it!  Then she said, "Baby, I love you, but you don't know how to do that."  I loved her cockiness!  We watched the CMT Award show.  Oh, one thing I want to remember is that sometime earlier in the week, when we weren't sure if she was responding, I asked Mom if she was scared.  She was never afraid to die and I wanted to know if she still felt that peace.  That was one of the times when I'm certain she shook her head "no."

Random Pictures from Mom's House

Poor baby was waiting for me to come home from the hospital and fell asleep on the floor. 

Missy, my parent's dog, stands like this when she wants food...

Ellen and Missy having a picnic. 

Ellen loved Mom's bathroom and her make-up.  She played like this a lot during this trip.

 Uncle Bryan, Wesley, Tyrus and Ellen playing with worms! Ty wanted to send the picture of him holding the worm to Lucas.  Lucas thinks Ty is neat becuase he isn't afraid to touch worms : )

Ellen, gross!  Girls don't touch worms!

On one of our walks Mr. Cathy, the ch*ck-fil-a guy, brought Ellen out a stuffed cow as a gift.

Pics from one of our walks.  Ellen liked ride her bike and to feed the geese.

 

Ellen and Mary!

 

 

Ellen and her Bike

I am so glad I threw her bike into the car for this trip!  We have been taking long walks each day.  I am loving the 1/1 time with my girl.  This is a balance bike, or a ride and glide.  It doesn't have pedals and is supposed to teach her to balance.  I think she's got it.

Time with Family

The silver lining is that we are getting to spend a lot of time with family and Jeff is getting some quality time with just him and Lucas.  Ty and Mary are on spring break, so they have been coming over to Mom's house during the day.  Ellen is loving spending so much time with Mary! 

Wednesday Update

Jenn took the day off today to spend it with Mom.  No real change since yesterday.  When I went to visit Mom tonight I saw that Jenn had the same idea I had about people knowing the Mom that we know.  These were posted on the wall:

Update on Mom

Today is Tuesday.  I'm able to bring my computer to the hospital and use wireless while I sit with Mom.  My job is being so great about being flexible, which I'm so thankful for right now. 

Mom looks the same as when I saw her on Sunday.  She is really only responding to pain, like when the doctor pushes on her chest.  I met the hospital doctor, who is like the team leader.  His name is Dr. Taylor.  When I met him yesterday he had me sit and he talked to me for 45 minutes.  It was his first day with Mom and wanted to know all about her.  When he asked me if she looked like this before, I was shocked.  No way!  I told him how she lived alone, drove alone, fixed her hair and put on make-up every day, ran her own business for 30+ years and now manages the leasing of it.  He said that was what he was after... how healthy and strong she was before this visit to the hospital.  If she was weak and in a nursing home before this, he didn't have much hope.  But since she was strong before, he was positive and optimistic.

It bothered me that Mom looked so different in the bed.  Like and old person - not like Mom.  So tonight I gathered several pictures of her with her bright eyes and bright smile.  I will show everyone that comes in that room tomorrow what she looked like just a few days ago.

Later in talking with James and Mama, we discussed how Dr. Taylor was optimistic that she'd live and not in her quality of life.  We knew that Mom would not be happy in a nursing home or having to have someone care for her.  We know that she can only be intubated for 10 days or so, so it feels like a race to see if her body will get strong enough in that time.  After 10 days they'd have to put the tube in her neck, which we knew she would not want.  She chose to come to the hospital and she chose to be intubated, so we are honoring that and sitting by her to cheer her on. 

Ellen's Song to Mom

I told Ellen this morning that Mom is sick and that I was going to spend the day with her at the hospital.  She said she wanted to sing Mom a song...

Lucas's Very First 5K!

Today was the day of Lucas's big 5K event that I helped the kids train for.  It's funny how things work out differently than you plan.  Jeff was supposed to run this race with him, but he sprained his ankle last week.  I was the back-up plan, but now I'm in Georgia.  Thankfully our good friend, Rob (Blane's dad), ran it with him.

I didn't think that the kindergarteners would be able to finish, so imagine my surprise when Jeff told me he finished in 35 minutes!  That time earned him 2nd place in his age group!  Totally shocked and so proud of him!

Midnight Ride to Jonesboro

Today is Sunday.  Friday afternoon Jenn called me and told me that Mom wasn't good and she had just called an ambulance.  Let me back up.  My brother, sister and mother had told me earlier in the week that it sounded like Mom had allergies.  We all thought it was due to the heavy pollen.  On Friday Jenn called Mom and said she could hardly talk, so she told her she was coming right over.  When she got there she took one look at Mom and asked her which hospital she wanted to go to.  Mom didn't argue, which was a sign to us that she really did feel bad. 

When the ambulance arrived they told Jenn that her b/p and her lungs were good.  Jenn planned to follow the ambulance to the hospital.  When she arrived, Mom wasn't there.  She got a call from the paramedic that told her the original hospital was full, so they were taking her to Clayton General.  She also told her that Mom wasn't doing great and she better hurry.  Jenn called me sobbing as she sped to the hospital.  She asked me what she would do if she got there and Mom wasn't alive.  Thank God, that didn't happen.  When she arrived Mom was on 100% oxygen and still having trouble breathing.  Jenn told me about an hour later that the doctor had told Mom that she needed to be intubated.  Mom said she didn't want to and the doctor then asked her what her last wish was, because she wouldn't make it through the night. 

Jenn stepped out in the hall to talk to the doctor. When they returned to the room Mom voluntarily said she agreed to be intubated.  They had diagnosed her with severe pneumonia and she needed her body to rest while the antibiotics worked on helping her heal. 

I don't know why I didn't jump in the car right then.  I don't think I knew what intubation meant.  The next day, at Blane's party, my mother called and said she didn't think the outcome would be good.  We went through a pneumonia issue last summer, so I thought it was going to be a replay of that, but Mama said it was a lot worse. 

After Blane's party Jeff and I decided that the best thing to do was for Ellen and I to drive to Jonesboro asap.  Then he and Lucas could fly down if necessary.  That way we'd have a car to get home in. 

Grandmother died as I was in route to Atlanta and I was determined that wouldn't happen again.  Looking back it wasn't that smart, but Ellen and I drove through thunderstorms and flash flood watches to arrive in Jonesboro at about 2am this morning.

When I saw Mom this morning, she didn't look good.  Like I said, I didn't know what intubation meant.  She looks like she's in a coma.  Jenn and I think she responded to us with a shake of her head or a squeeze to our hand, but we couldn't be certain. 

Happy Birthday, Blane!

Happy Birthday Charles!

Lake Date with Ellen

Jeff and Lucas had something to do this morning, so Ellen and I took her bike to the lake (Sh*lley) and had a picnic lunch.

After lunch she rode and rode and rode her bike.  It comes natual to her and she has no fear.