This Time Last Year

A year ago tonight, on my due date for Ellen, I had just had steak tacos that were guaranteed to make me go into labor. Sandy was here. We were waiting. A few hours later I woke up with mild contractions, and Ellen was born about 16 hours later. I still remember the first moment I saw her like it was 5 minutes ago. It's unreal how some of the greatest moments in your life a frozen in your memory like that. When they first put her on my chest she looked so familiar - like Lucas. She wasn't crying and, now that I know her, she had her standard expression on her face. I remember her as being calm, but Jeff tells me that is because she couldn't breathe at first. I also remember those first few hours with Ellen. They were some of the best hours of my life, for sure. It was Jeff, Ellen and me in the hospital room. Jeff was asleep on the cot and Ellen was in my arms. I had a natural high from the birth and all I wanted to do was look at her. It was unbelievable that she was so perfect and that she was right there. And it was just us. It was so quiet and there was nothing to do but bond. I kept thinking how lucky I was to have her and how I couldn't believe that she was mine. Today, almost exactly one year later, I have similar thoughts almost daily. She is the sweetest little thing I've ever seen and I feel so lucky to have her.