A Common Thread

We saw Lucas's intense personality for the first time when he was about 20 hours old. I remember it clearly because we had walked down the hall of the hospital to visit with Sara and Ross, who had just delivered little Naomi a few hours earlier. Until that time, which was about 10pm on April 4th, Lucas had been sleeping and nursing peacefully. All of a sudden he started crying and cried for about 2 hours. We thought it was because he was swaddled too tightly or because he was hungry. He repeated this the next night about the same time.

For the next five weeks he was a pretty easy baby. Jeff and I wondered what all of the fuss was about. Right at five weeks, however, Lucas developed a witching hour every evening... then two hours, then three, etc. That's when that dumb doctor we used to go to told us that he had reflux and put him on medicine for a few weeks. Looking back, I'm pretty sure all of this was just Lucas's intense personality developing, although we did see a calmer Lucas around three months, so maybe there was a little reflux/colic.

When Lucas and I used to go to play group I would feel a little insecure because Lucas was the only baby out of the five that would cry. He hated the group picture and would scream almost every time. Then he hated the car seat and would scream on the way home. I was afraid that he'd develop into a grumpy child and then adult because I had neglected to do something "right". When Lucas started communicating he got a lot happier and calmer and these fears subsided. I could see that the love that we had poured onto Lucas was having an effect. He became this sweet, loving, curious and happy baby.

I'm writing all of this because recently I've been reminded of those feelings that I had in playgroup when Lucas was an infant - insecurity that I'm not doing the "right" things...

Since we've moved Lucas and I have been getting together with his friends Charles and Christopher a few times a week from 5-6pm. I am seeing the same intense personality from Lucas that I saw when he was younger. This time it's in the form of wanting everything that Christopher our Charles has. At our house it is the most noticeable. Lucas doesn't want anyone to touch his toys and watches everyone like a hawk to make sure they don't. If they do then he runs over screaming and grabbing things away. Charles looks surprised, but fights back, holding onto his toy with both hands and telling Lucas "me, me, me" or "no, no, no". Christopher is used to a nice, peaceful environment, so he gets his feelings hurt and cries.

Of course I tell Lucas that he needs to share, but I don't see immediate results yet, so there goes my mind running away with thoughts of Lucas kicking and hitting on the playground and not having any friends. The logical side of me knows that this won't happen. We'll teach Lucas to treat others with love and respect and he'll be fine, but at the end of a long day it's hard to think logically. And, in Lucas's defense, he has Sophie (3.5 yrs old) at our house everyday and they act like siblings, fighting over toys and the giving hugs and kisses.

I'm happy that Lucas has so much energy, but just like Dr. Wiles said at one of our first visits, we just need to teach him how to properly channel it. We're trying!